The art of being human

Im sure when the slave ant looks to us, they look to us and ask the world why they cant be human?  Being human means making your own decisions and stepping on animals nowhere near as "great" and changing the world.

What the ant doesnt understand is that great power leads to great destruction, not only to the world but oneself.

Im not being pessimistic today...really.  I have been destroying myself lately.  Not physically...just mentally.

I think it is safe to say that most women pull themselves out of their own mental trouble eventually.  I can say that my mind is emotionally scrambled and deteriorating but I will get on a platform and fix it eventually.  That is who I am but until then....

Its the fact that, there was something I had very dear to me, a flower.  It wilted not because of any natural cause but because I, as a human, forced it to.  I didnt want to but the people around me convinced me that it was the best thing to do.  I didnt regret it till now really...now when everyone is getting flowers and all will get to see them bloom.  I feel like I should feel happy especially since one of those flowers belongs to a dear friend of mine.  Deep down inside, I am happy ecstatic for her!  But on top of all that happiness is jealousy.

I have been a sour person to her in some points of life.  I have always been jealous to be honest.  Im not as sincere, nice, pretty or smart which turned into me not being as laid back as I used to be...


...as laid back as her....


But dear world, I have never tried to be like her honestly.  It is a mere coincidence that we like a lot of the same things.  I can safely say that I love many things that she hates and were ok with that.  After all, were two different people!
Who am I to make the flowers of life wait for me when they have nothing to do with me?  It isnt really her.  In fact, I think that I can easily say this is jealousy overload.  EVERYONE around me is doing it...except me.  Heck I even get to watch as another best friend pair does it together.
I hate the fact that I can be so honest with myself about things like this.

Dearest loving friend you know who you are.  I cant say this to your face because...well youve known me long enough to know how that goes.  Im sorry for all those horrible things I have done and I truly am happy for you guys.  I hope all goes well.


and that is truly from the bottom of my heart?



Whew that feels better.  

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A peek into my life

Rarely do I take personal pictures for the simple fact...there are too many stalkers!

Anyway, I wanted to go to the river but was too busy today.  So, I adventured further into my backyard.  The best part about living in an old suburban area is that many of the homes have large yards.  That is one thing I will miss about this place till I move into the vast wilderness....

I know for sure that someday, my backyard will be all wilderness and my dogs will have much more than a large yard to run in.  They will have an outdoor oasis where everyday is a new adventure...no leash required!

I think Luna likes this idea.

but until then, its just all leashed adventures and whatever we find in the yard.  Mostly butterflies, dragonflies, the occasional mouse, and bird poop....lots and lots of bird poop.

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