A Life Changing Event

...didnt happen to me at all.

I must say...the best thing about web logs is that you get to read about what is on a strangers mind. Often times, this includes full details and such which makes it more interesting. This can encourage people to be brave or to let go...like it is doing me now.

Im unhappy world. Im unhappy that I live within city limits (something I cant fix for a while) in a teeny place (something I can fix in the near future) in complete chaos and no game plan (something I can bitch about now.) I have always lived in the suburbs but have taken about 100 steps backwards when I moved from an unincorporated county to these city limits...where the same problems are but many rules arent followed (example...in county you will get a fine for "watering the sidewalk" but in the city which is also part of the same county facing the same water problems, you can help that sidewalk grow big and strong by watering it at noon in the middle of summer with no discouragement.)

I do like the fact I can hear lots of birds chirping at least but not without the gentle sounds of automobiles in the background...

But this is home for now...unfortunately. I have decided finally to say "hi there fuck you Im doing what I want."

This isnt like me...I usually sort of listen to what people say and take their thoughts into consideration. Im tired of being told no.

no you cant do gymnastics (youre too fat)
no you cant have a dog (because I said so...dont care if they kill it)
no dont get that soap (because I dont like how it doesnt smell like ____ when it comes out of the wash)
no I wont spend $$ for horse riding lessons (your sister needs $$$$ for modeling that she probably wont stick with)
no you cant do girl scouts with your friends (because my friend is a troop leader *places me in with a bunch of strangers*)
no you cant do martial arts (Youre a girl and must do scouts)
no dont get that milk
no this
no that
no
no
NO

But of course it is a total mystery to everyone why I have a problem now with being told no I cant do blah blah blah. Yeah I fight it and fight it hard.

I will be starting my life turn around probably next month when I start a nursery for some of the plants I have wanted forever. A bunch of it is food (I have absolutely no experience growing veggies but have a green thumb otherwise) but a few of them are just things I like (including but not limited to a Douglas fir, California oak, and a Korean maple.) I have considered just packing up and leaving in the night because Im truly tired of that wonderful word no (as well as sorry...dont say sorry unless youre going to fix or compensate fully for whatever you did. Then dont do it again.) I will probably lie to a few people to get an apartment but hey, I promise no harm done. I want to keep my dogs.

Then, Im finishing up school or moving to the country...whichever I have time to do first. Then come the chickens, the pond, the horses, and maybe a pig or a cow but yes some goats.





Im tired of waiting for life to happen. It is clear to me that someone is always gonna say no and just be in the way. Well if someone loves me...truly...they wont say no without reason anymore...they will just come for the ride.

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Degrading

Have I told you lately that I think people are stupid?

Not all people.  I could easily classify my dearest loving dog as stupid as well (seeing as he is now sick because he took off in the rain...and decided to stand in the rain the entire 2 hours he was missing.)  BUT it doesnt mean all dogs are stupid now does it?  It also doesnt mean he is stupid...just in that sort of way.  Before starting this blog, Id like to note that I dont see myself as perfect.  Im entirely stupid at things as well...mostly math.


Anyway, I was watching a documentary on porn and how degrading it is.  Yes those girls get into it because they want big bucks and what not.  It makes women look like objects and blah blah blah blah.  Truth be told, Im not too hot about porn.  Everyone I have ever been with has been influenced by it in some sort of way.  It can easily turn men into bad sex partners and so on.  Besides, Im totally not into giving in...ever.  Porn is frowned upon mostly by women who believe it is totally not cool.

At the same time, I bet you 99% of these women shop at a supermarket.  Now most things have to be bought at a store but a good portion of things can be bought at specialty markets.  I have learned that you can often find the best things at family owned markets...just ask me about my airsoft guns.  Yeah only one of them is actually sold at a chain store....Back on topic, we know most "associates" are degraded at work.  We feel porn stars are degraded and protest against porn.  We KNOW a lot of workers at stores are degraded but just look the other way.

Oh and dont use the excuse that ya didnt know.  We ALL know aboutWal-Mart.

Let me tell everyone about working at Hell-Mart.  First, you are an object.  You are expected to put out more work than you are paid for (like a computer...you dont pay em but they put out work for you.)

Wait but isnt making someone an object why we hate porn?

aha youre getting it

Dont be silly...EVERYTHING you find in a grocery store could either be made or found at a family owned shop/farmers market that doesnt spit on their employees.  Yes many are hard to find but clearly everyone reading this has some way to access the internet.  Get to searching.  No things like crackers and cheez its often cant be bought (unless its the organic kind) but these really arent that hard to make anyway.  Yes it requires work.  Put down the remote and spend time with family (or by yourself) making some.

What really irritates me is people in rural areas.  Rural areas are rural.  Things arent supposed to be ultra close.  This is why people move out there to begin with.  Moving to the city is not more expensive, just new.  How nice would it be to be able to take public transit places?  It saves on gas....

So before you tell someone about how something is terrible and they shouldnt support it, think.  Are you supporting the same thing with just a different tag?

By the way, the site I stole that anti porn picture from says that porn kills the soul.  Yeah so does working at Hell-Mart.  I have never been so sick in my entire life.  Oh but its ok because the bible isnt against Wal-Mart...I guess....

Id also like to add that women tend to degrade themselves.  This deeply angers me.  I was told by another associate that we have guys to do the work girls cant do.

THE WORK GIRLS CANT DO


Seeing as this isnt a sperm bank, I dont think there is any work that a girl cannot do.  Just saying.

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